November 2011
1 post
Looking for Full time work sucks especially since I want to move out of Boston.
August 2011
1 post
Just saw this on Post Secret
It has been a while I know…there’s lots to say but right now to much is going on.
However, I was doing my weekly google reader reading and stumbled upon this.
April 2011
1 post
space and babies
So SS and I decided that we’d take a break. I think it was much needed. We’ve kinda been bitches to each other lately and I’ve been feeling like the crazy girlfriend whose imagining everything…though my friends tell me otherwise. I know there are two sides to every story so I’m not going to do SS bashing but I’m not certain how this relationship is going to work...
March 2011
2 posts
The lesbian authority?
So last night I went out with my cousins and their significant others…it was fun but especially interesting. My cousin Kat apparently has a lot of lesbian friends or so she keeps telling me. She went to an all girls college so I believe it but now every tome we hang put it’s the same thing.
Last night we all went bowling. SS was having a weekend with her girls so I was the 5th wheel....
Caged in my thoughts.
So SS has this new admirer at school who is “straight” but when they went shopping told her “your room should smell like me.” SS was shopping for a new diffuser for her room FYI. Anyways SS tells me this story and when I asked if she told Nona that she has a gf what answer do I get? “No!”
Well as much as that bothered me i put it behind me but then SS goes...
February 2011
4 posts
"What style?"
The other day SS and I were hanging out and I started telling her that I wanted to buy new sneakers. I’ve been really partial to Adidas lately but when I showed her a couple of sneakers I was thinking about she very quickly told me not to get them because she didn’t want us having matching shoes. I mean it is not about her right now. The thing that really pissed me off was her off...
Destiny of the Shrine Maiden - tragic lesbian... →
Not so much a description but this anime was really good…it is just sad that it has to be so tragic.
Well at least I'm not the only one.
SS bought me the entire series of Ellen and I’ve been watching it. I think the thing I love the most is how awkward her experiences are. It’s comforting in a way. I mean I know she’s a fictional character but thank god she’s so awkward.
January 2011
9 posts
She doesn't get it.
I’m starting to think that my mom doesn’t really understand that I’m gay. I mean she continually says things about other people like “they can’t be gay their Catholic/Christian/abroad person.” I wanna say honestly mom…what the fuck! But I’m to scared because what if she says some I can’t handle?
How did this start? She came into my room...
Yes!
I love Nor’esters! So much snow. :)
Yeah about that...
So SS just confessed that she’s been looking up sperm donors. I freaked…not just a minor freak but a major one! We talking about breaking up and she’s looking up sperm donors. HONESTLY WTF? Did I miss a step here?
Fail...
I texted HT on New Years! I know I’m lame. Idk what it is but I kinda do miss her still. Ugh I’m ridiculous!
December 2010
4 posts
My father saga cont'd
So my father called me two nights ago and perusal I hung up feeling empty and annoyed. Why you ask? Well the first thing is that he told me “I was in new York during the thanksgiving holiday and I kept telling your sister that we should call you but then I’d forget.” ugh! Geee thanks dad! sticks up middle finger
Why would you ever tell your Child that you forget to call them...
Things I shouldn't do.
So I’m wide awake right now. Why? Probably because I was so tired from work that I came home at 7 and went right to sleep. The kicker is SS couldn’t sleep and when she turned on the Tv I got sucked into whatever came on and now I’m wide awake. I probs shouldn’t have let her turn on the tv.
Oh she made a comment about HT coming to visit us this winter. Now HT is all I can...
That's life
Things are interesting here. I know I need to move but I want to find work first plus I’m not sure where I want to be yet. The west coast seems to far but it also holds the places I want to work for/at.
It’s a lot to think about.
November 2010
3 posts
Musings
Its been a while I know. Not a lot is happening. I’m unemployed and miserable.
There are so many opportunities I want and yet I find myself drowning. Its almost amusing because while HT and I were together I could see her doing through the same things and now I understand how she felt. It makes me laugh at the irony of it all. I feel like my misery is affecting everything. I think about SS...
A. I’m unemployed and have no money.
B. I’m living at home and wish that after completing a masters degree I could be self sufficient.
C. If I move I risk loosing a relationship that’s amazing.
D. I’ve been wishing that HT and I could communicate more often.
E. I miserable and loving the city of my birth.
OVERALL…This is why I miss my sanity.
August 2010
2 posts
Decisions
Did I say that I’m moving home for a year? Yeah its happening…hopefully my mother and I won’t kill each other.
Gah!
I’m currently having an argument at the office with one of my volunteers who wants all 4 of his kids by 25. Would I be old if I said “Kids these days” because that’s exactly what I’m feeling like saying.
GAH!
July 2010
1 post
"Suck it up": The story of my current life.
So, I’ve been home for a couple of weeks now and there are some ups and downs to being back. I feel like that’s true for most visits home so I’m trying not to whine about it. I’ve been struggling a lot though with guilt. A part of me thinks that most of my guilt comes from my Catholic upbringing…you former Catholics may understand this. The Catholic guilt complex is...
June 2010
2 posts
I'm nervous.
I’m going home tomorrow night…well I land in Boston on Thursday morning. I’m super excited and really really nervous. I’ll be home for 6 weeks and with everything that’s happened over the past two years being home has been a source of emotional conflict for me. I’m starting to worry about it a lot now. I need to go home to work and seeing my family will be...
May 2010
2 posts
Graduation present
I want this.
It all comes to this.
My graduation is quickly approaching. My life is hopefully going to start soon.
I’ve recently been feeling like I’m not doing much of anything which is true. I come home and sleep. Today after waking up at 6 and then 9 I took two naps and finally officially rose out of bed at 2:30. It was great to finally sleep in (well kinda sleep in).
Otherwise I’d rather not talk about my...
April 2010
3 posts
How often?
It surprises me how I’m still shock with my depression kicks in. It goes a way for a time and I always think its gone forever.
There are so many issues in my life compounding it too.
I’m looking for visual inspiration.
5 tags
How do you know?
How do you know when you are over someone?
SS and I just started dating but I’m scared that as much as I say it I’m actually not over HT.
I feel like I’m angry about her all the time. I’m not certain that I want to be friends with her because I’m still angry and hurt about the way everything ended. HT just left and I’m annoyed by her. I’m annoyed that...
Moving on...
Its been a while I know and when I get more time I promise to really update…here are some things that you need to know.
SS and I are officially dating. I’m really happy about calling her my girlfriend.
HT and I are trying to be friends but she told me today that she’s sleeping with someone whose passed her friend Jenny’s test and it really bothered me but the issue is...
March 2010
1 post
Interesting Postsecrets today.
February 2010
6 posts
*Sigh*
HT just left and though the talk didn’t go as I planned it I think it was very helpful. She says she’s going to try and communicate more often and that she thinks once we get over our feelings we’ll be good friends. It was great to have her say that.
I was able to breathe better. I’m not over her but I think I might be able to move on…we’ll see.
Anyways...
Getting it going.
HT and I have scheduled a serious conversation to talk about what she really expects of us. What spurred this on? HT, SS, and I hung out on Valentine’s Day of all days and she confessed that she’d be really hurt if she found out I was sleeping with someone else. (FUNNY huh since she is the one who needed the break). She also asked if she was invited to my cousin’s wedding in VA...
My Film class teacher kinda freaks me out. He says semi offensive things. I mean how often does you teacher threaten your class with personal dryness.
That’s right he said “a part of your body…you hold dear will dry up.”
I don’t think he was talking about the saliva in my mouth or my eyes.
He also asked me if I shopped by color because his wife is a color...
Very excited!
SS is flying in on Tuesday and I can’t wait. She’s gonna be my first friend to come visit since I moved out here. Plus it’ll be really great having her around. I wish I didn’t have to work/go to school while she is here because I want to spend more time with her.
We’ve been talking a lot and I told her I feel like I’m slipping into a depression. I come home and...
Things I've learned
So i found out that LA doesn’t want to be in a relationship. She was telling me about the girl she’s currently messing with and how the girl wants a relationship that LA told her from the beginning she didn’t want. SOUND FAMILIAR? That’s pretty much the situation I was in with HT.
Oh, HT has been sending me emails just about random thing which is nice but I think its made...
@ the bus stop waiting. I looked at my watch and I’m 30 mins early.
January 2010
19 posts
hehe...
Going through one of my lonely phases…I’m super bored and have no one to talk to. I hate these moments and to make it worse I passed in the rental so I can’t just get up and go where I need which is making me feel trapped again.
BUT THEN HERE COMES SS! Sometimes I wonder what she sees in my crazy neurotic ass.
:-D
Fun times...
I hung out with HT on Sunday. It was great! I realized that I really do miss hanging out with her.
We had a long conversation about what happened between us which was enlightening. She said that she thinks she got nervous and started to pull away. She didn’t want to hurt me with her unstable emotions. I respect that she told me but I let her know that it didn’t keep me from getting...
Why am I always the last to know?
So we went out for my bday last night…we went to truckstop which is always fun when you are just out with friends. I don’t think it would be fun if you went alone. I’m still wondering where the black girl dancer went though.
Anyways perusual my friends got me pretty drunk. And I’m not certain whether I made an ass of myself in front of LA. I’m pretty certain I told...
“Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure. You’ve...”
– Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist (via julie911) (via quote-book)
I'm 24!
I don’t really feel any older but today’s my bday.
So far I’ve slept in and done laundry. Once it stops raining maybe I’ll go get my eyebrows done. I know low key bday but I’m going to a bar with friends later and I wanna be able to rest tonight since I have to be up early tomorrow for work.
4 tags
And so it ended but maybe something new begins...
I think things with HT are officially over. We had a brief chat last night and when I asked her if things were over she said “is that a serious question.” I guess part of me has been wanting her to change her mind. It was great having her as a lover and a friend but I’m not exactly certain I can be friends with her now. I’ve never been able to be friends with an ex...
Valentine's Day
I’ve never been a fan of Valentine’s Day because of all the pressure there is around it.
Though I have to admit I’m really tired of being alone on Valentine’s Day. Last year I spent it with HT which was nice…though she doesn’t celebrate holidays just being around her made me feel a lot better.
This year SS IS COMING TO VISIT ME!! I’m really excited...
