And so it ended but maybe something new begins…
I think things with HT are officially over. We had a brief chat last night and when I asked her if things were over she said “is that a serious question.” I guess part of me has been wanting her to change her mind. It was great having her as a lover and a friend but I’m not exactly certain I can be friends with her now. I’ve never been able to be friends with an ex afterward…I can be friendly yes but not friends.
For me the ending of a relationship/friendship has always felt like the ultimate betrayal and I can never reconcile my feelings. SS has been great through this process. Though a part of me feels weird about telling her how I’m not quite over my ex she’s been really supportive. She’s been really supportive of me dating too. I guess us hooking up wasn’t the tragedy I thought it might be.
About my dating! I went out with LA and though I wouldn’t call it a date everyone else did. We saw The Book of Eli which was really great and then went out to dinner. It was great! I really enjoy being around her. We texted all night long but I am hesitant of her because she plans on moving back North when she graduates. Is it to early for me to be thinking about that? I mean this is our second time hanging out and though we’ve been flirting I don’t want to rush things. Plus, I’m still getting over my ex and I don’t wanna start something with someone who I can be completely with. That isn’t fair to her.
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About Me
I made a major change in my life when I moved to California in '08. I got into graduate school so I packed up and left all my friends and family behind. This was really hard for me since I've been in a 5 mile radius of all my schools since 3rd grade and I'm really dependent on my family and friends for emotional support. I created this site initially so that my friends could keep updated on my life...but now it is my safe space. This site is where I can express myself for people to read and maybe learn from so if you don't like it...well I can't help that but this is me!The name of my blog comes from ME! I'm a gay black female whose learning to live on her own and love like I want to...away from the pressures of being the decent obedient daughter. Plus I've got locs not dreads and my favorite flower is a hibiscus...hence a loced flower.
Erykah Badu said it best. "Keep in mind that I'm an artist and I'm sensitive about my shit."
You can leave a comment on my site on the little blue tabs that pop up on the bottom but if you want to email me that's cool too. I'd love to hear from people who read my site.
The blog's email is LOCED.FLOWER@GMAIL.COM
The Characters of my life
HT - The woman I met at school with I moved to Cali. We've been seeing each other since Sept '08 but we aren't in a relationship.
SS - One of my friends from home. She's really my best gay black friend/slash my only one. We've never hooked up but she sometimes alludes to us having sex. We are going to be roommates when she moves out to Cali.
NC - A friend from school. She's super Christian and A type personality which can drive me up a wall but she's a good friend. HT thinks she has a crush on me and I'm starting to think so too.
New Girl - I met her on Downelink and I'm hoping she becomes a friend I can hang out with.
Boston - I met her on Downelink and I'm hoping she becomes a friend I can hang out with. She lives in Boston and is just really chill. We text periodically. I'll hopefully see her when I go home.
Stay Tuned for a List of more people to come into my life
Awesome blogs I read!
A Brown Girl Gone Gay
Princess Baby Dyke
Coughing Up Cake
Freedom Girl
Pink, Chocolate & Sunshine
Living A Loving Life As Wife and Wife
Just Tamara
The Advocate
