Life as a Loced Flower

The other day SS and I were hanging out and I started telling her that I wanted to buy new sneakers. I’ve been really partial to Adidas lately but when I showed her a couple of sneakers I was thinking about she very quickly told me not to get them because she didn’t want us having matching shoes. I mean it is not about her right now. The thing that really pissed me off was her off handed comment about my style or in her opinion my lack of it. Even though it happened a couple of days ago I’m still really upset. I get it! I’ve always acknowledged that I lack a conventional style (I.e. Tomboy, stud, lipstick, butch, bohemian, artsy, etc) but growing up I always aimed for comfort.

I have a sister who is gorgeous and growing up I always felt in her shadow especially when people would tell me how similar we looked plus there were the shadows of my “stylish” cousins. By the time I was buying my own clothes other things became more important like volleyball equipment, training camps, campus fees, etc. Now that I’m older and those things aren’t factors anymore I’ve started really wanting to focus on my wardrobe but I’m pretty much unemployed.

It really bothers me that SS pointed out my lack of style. I mean she and HT have said it multiple times and I’ve continually expressed my sensitivity about the issue. I feel like a large part of why I’m upset is because she didn’t even apologize. I told her so many times that day how mad I was and nothing. She just dropped the subject and pretended like it never happened. What do I do from here?

I feel like a kid for still being upset about this but it is something that has always made me feel inadequate and my gf not apologizing about it is really bothering me.

Should I just drop it at this point?