Life as a Loced Flower

I’m going home tomorrow night…well I land in Boston on Thursday morning. I’m super excited and really really nervous. I’ll be home for 6 weeks and with everything that’s happened over the past two years being home has been a source of emotional conflict for me. I’m starting to worry about it a lot now. I need to go home to work and seeing my family will be lovely but I’m still really anxious.

SS has been a help but the amount of time she’s going to be demanding is making me feel bad. I’ve been struggling with my emotions about her. I want to continue to date SS but the distance is to much for me to handle and with her not moving out here when I come back to Cali I think we should try to return to just friends. It hurts to think about this but I don’t want SS and I to be angry with each other. She already gets pissed when I talk about finding someone attractive and I think its hurting us. I don’t know what to do. I want to date SS while I’m home but I’m not prepared to end things afterward. July is going to be rough.

Oh I’m teaching for a month. That’s why I’m going to be in Boston. Teaching is also making me nervous…shaping little minds.